It’s very exciting that our first online magazine is almost ready to be unveiled. We hope you like it when it comes out early next week.
In the meantime, I have a friend who told me about a shower invitation she received recently. Along with all the little, bitty inserts telling guests where to shop, there was also a note that told them that gift cards and cash were preferred, and if not, please remember to include the gift receipt. She asked me what I thought about it, and believe me, there isn’t space enough on the entire web for me to tell you what I think.
Maybe I’m just an old fuddy duddy, but it’s hard for me to catch up with the fact that not only are brides requesting gifts at showers and weddings, but they are itemizing the specific gifts, and in this particular case, telling guests right out: Don’t bother trying to buy me something lovely and thoughtful because I want to pick out my own gifts, and if I don’t like what you choose, I’m taking it back to the store anyway!
Here’s the thing: It took a long while for gift registries to become accepted, because telling people where to shop amounted to telling people you were looking for a gift. Here’s the truth: Look up any etiquette book and you will find out something that has been forgotten in modern times, and that is that wedding gifts are entirely optional. You read that right. A guest at a wedding is exactly that–a guest, who may or may not feel moved to bring a present to the party in order to wish the young couple a great life. They don’t have to bring a check covering the cost of their dinner or contribute to the honeymoon expense or even bring a tacky vase. This is because, starting many years ago, the father of the bride threw a great big party when his little darling got married, and everybody came and ate and danced and maybe got a little tipsy. Lots of people came bearing gifts hoping these practical and fancy items would help the young couple get started, and that they would get all misty-eyed from time to time remembering how Aunt Sophie gave that toaster and Uncle Ralph gave that whatamacallit that sits on the top of the china closet. Somewhere along the line, lots of things changed, including the fact that many young couples started to pay for, or help pay for the wedding. And at some point, brides and grooms started to expect the gifts, and the bigger the better. But then it got worse. Now couples demand the gifts. They want you to come to their party and pay for the food you eat, and hopefully a little bit more that might help cover the band and the open bar.
Now, gift giving for showers is an entirely different thing. After all, a shower is designed to help a new bride begin to fill her kitchen or pantry or linen closet with some practical things. Everybody who is invited to a shower knows that a gift is expected. And, at some point, gift registries started to make sense, because after all it prevented guests from buying blue towels for a pink bathroom or five toasters, forcing the already busy bride-to-be to run around trying to exchange four toasters for a frypan, pasta pot, blender, and pink towels. But, here’s what to keep in mind: The registry is just a suggestion, a helpful device for people who don’t want to use their imagination or buy the wrong color linens. It doesn’t mean that you have to go by that list, and no future bride should expect that. The registry is to help out her guests, who may decide to buy something else altogether, or to give money, or to buy a gift card to that particular store. It’s kind of like what happens with Santa’s list–good little children receive some of the things on the list, and they may also receive some things that are not written down by their eager little fingers. Good little children should be very happy for whatever they receive, and say thank you. Good little brides should do the same.

Just thought I’d push my way in to Rebecca’s blog for a moment…although I do have her permission to take up some space!

First off, hopefully, you’ve noticed that the Google problems she mentioned have been resolved. Now we can continue to put the finishing touches on the latest issue of NEPA Wedding Day magazine, which should be ready for unveiling next week. We’re very excited about this new beginning as an emagazine, and we really look forward to your feedback.
I noticed that Rebecca’s last entry talked about running into unexpected problems and making the best of them, particularly when it comes to wedding planning. I had to chuckle, because my husband and I took a trip to Essex, Connecticut, and Newport, Rhode Island, last week to celebrate our upcoming third wedding anniversary. Little did we know we were driving right into the worst flooding in Rhode Island in a century! The rains and flooding did not ruin our anniversary trip, since Newport is situated south of the flood area. We had a wonderful, if somewhat damp, visit to a city we love, although we felt great concern for the flood victims. We ran into some problems entering and leaving Newport, since even I-95 was closed in sections. We were re-routed several times by National Guardsmen, due to unstable bridges and lakes where lakes had never appeared before.
But, as Rebecca said, you have to take the situation you are dealt and make the best of it. Somebody said to me later that maybe we shouldn’t have continued with our trip, which was the opposite of how I saw things. When there is a natural disaster, the natural tendency is to avoid the surrounding area, which only contributes to the disaster by loss of revenue.     We did not drive farther north to gawk at the flood waters, and we did not displace any flood victims from a hotel room, nor did we get in anybody’s way. Instead, we rented a hotel room, spent money in restaurants, visited a few local attractions, and contributed in some small way to the tourist industry in Newport during a week which was not only off-season, but one which found the state in the national headlines. Needless to say, our service was impeccable and people seemed happy to see us wherever we went. The hotel even upgraded our room and still charged us the special discounted price that we had found by booking our trip in March instead of April. Believe me, that kind of thing doesn’t happen in the crush of the tourist season where you are one of hundreds of people vying for seats in the best places and you are standing in line for the best attractions.
What does this have to do with your wedding? Well, several things that I can think of, beginning with Rebecca’s premise about making the best of problems. One of the weddings we featured in a previous edition of our magazine took place during a tropical storm which knocked over trees and drenched the Northeast. In the same way we had to be re-routed on our recent trip, the bridal party had to take a different route to the church to avoid fallen branches, and the bride needed a large umbrella to get from the limo to the church. But she took the unexpected disaster in stride, and their wedding album shows a smiling couple who did not let the gusty winds and torrential rain ruin their special day.
Another lesson from our recent trip is to consider planning a wedding and honeymoon in the off-season. Choosing a month that is not June or September will get you lower rates on many things, and a wider choice of options. When venues are busy and the dates are filled up, you don’t have much bargaining power. When you are the only wedding on a given weekend, you get all the attention. Of course, weather can be a huge factor–nobody wants to reserve for 200 guests who cannot get to the reception because of a blizzard, and an outdoor tent can get a bit droopy in a monsoon. But, try to have back-up plans in case of these emergencies, and you might save a fortune on your nuptials.
Yet another lesson from our trip is that a great honeymoon does not have to be on a faraway tropical island or European destination. Our trip to Essex and Newport was a repeat of our original honeymoon three years ago. We enjoyed the quiet New England charm, found plenty to do, and we never once had to worry about connecting flights, passports, understanding the language, or baggage claim. We are both seasoned world travelers, and used to those things. But for our honeymoon, we decided nestling in a whitewashed beach cottage on the ocean watching the sailboats float by was just the ticket.

So, consider a honeymoon closer to home, with true relaxation, and no need to hurry about seeing all of the sights because you may never return again. It’s just my advice, having done it both ways, and having enjoyed it both ways. Look for my story on the Destinations page entitled “To Go or Not To Go,” which is a longer article on the same theme.

Maureen Hart

President,

NEPA Wedding Day

Well, our website is almost one week old, and we are pleased with the response of those of you who have visited us here at NEPA Wedding Day, although we have run into problems with Google which are in the process of being ironed out.
Such unforeseen delays just remind me that such problems can also arise during the wedding planning process, and although it can be challenging, you just have to go with the flow as you try to resolve the snags.
For instance, my cousin Amy delayed ordering her bridesmaid dresses until time became an issue, and after she found a gown she liked in a shade of Victorian lilac, had all the bridesmaids measured, and deposits paid, it turned out they weren’t manufacturing the dress anymore, although they had enough gowns available to dress all of us but one. That, of course, wasn’t helpful–one poor bridesmaid was minus a dress!
The bridal shop owner in Harrisburg called the manufacturer, and talked to everybody at the company except possibly the janitor, and she finally got hold of a helpful soul who went down on the cutting floor and found a remnant of the fabric which was big enough (just barely) to make one more gown. We all marveled at how somebody took it upon themselves to try to resolve a dilemma for a bride she had never seen, and would never meet.
Sometimes when you run into problems like that, you have to compromise and change things, and sometimes it all works out just the way you planned.
I am hoping that is what happens (any minute now) with our Google problems. In the meantime, I have to do what I advise other brides to do–try to keep things in perspective, try to figure out alternatives, and try to just keep breathing!
We’d like to hear from brides who have run into similar logistical problems, and have you share with us the ways you were able to solve your particular dilemma. Let’s face it–the chances that everything will run perfectly from start to finish are slim. At some point, a vendor is going to fall down on the job, or Mother Nature will throw torrents of water your way, or the cake will collapse, or the groom will get sick. Tell us what happened, and how you handled it!

Rebecca Garcia-Pons
Editor
NEPAweddingday.com

Hello, brides!  Welcome aboard. Here we are in our new incarnation as an emagazine!

To give you some background, NEPA Wedding Day started out as a glossy print magazine, of which we were very proud.

But after doing some research in the wedding publishing field, and through our own personal experience, as well as talking to area brides, we became convinced that almost 70% of all brides do at least some of their wedding planning online.

So, here we are! Beginning in April, our new spring issue of Wedding Day will be online with all of the features you liked before, particularly the local wedding layouts that give you lots of ideas for your own big day. Be sure to log on then to see the albums of Andrew and Amanda, Christine and Sean, Jessica and Jason, and Priya and Jason. Their weddings range from a Ukrainian Catholic ceremony with the traditional crowns to a multi-ethnic Hindu/Christian wedding at a country inn!

Our ultimate goal is to become a one-stop guide for couples being married in Eastern Pennsylvania. We are anxious to provide all of the information you need to plan your wedding and honeymoon. You will find stories on our website that will give you  ideas and inspiration, and some articles which are just plain fun to read (royal weddings, anyone?).

On this blog, we intend to provide more personal feedback. You can also find us on Facebook, where our site will act as a forum for brides to exchange ideas and ask questions. Join us for discussions on local bands and DJs, outdoor sites, and much, much more.

We plan to add more and more information all the time, and we hope you will let us know what you are looking for, so that we can meet all of your needs. We also require your assistance to make our site a success. Please tell our advertisers that you saw them at NEPAweddingday.com. Please submit your wedding photos to us when the big day is over. Please give us ideas about what you want. Please join us on Facebook. Please keep checking back for new ideas.

To get started, I just want to say that whatever your budget, you can have the wedding of your dreams by adapting the many ideas our featured brides have used in their own weddings.

I think the key to a great wedding is making it personal to the couple—whether you want a big extravaganza at a country club or a down home country wedding with guests sitting on bales of hay! And even more key is this—if you are having a good time, everybody attending will have a good time. More on all of this later…

Rebecca Garcia-Pons

Editor, nepaweddingday.com

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